Have you ever had an interior design idea for your home that your partner wouldn’t agree with? Are you stuck with the same furniture for many years? Or are you still living in the same house, when your nest is empty and the place is feeling way too big? Maybe you feel there is no hope in changing that old black fridge that doesn’t even have the ice dispenser (but according to your partner, it looks brand new and it is still working fine). What about that horrible sofa that your partner loves?
Does it sound familiar?
You look around and there is so much you would like to change to get a more comfortable living space with new pieces of furniture, colors in the walls and a current design! You want to live in a pretty place! It is so important to you! It would also be so much fun to design and create some diy projects for your home!
You are not alone!
I hear many stories like that, from friends, frustrated with going nowhere with the design changes they want to do. Personally I had to go through a long path to convince my husband to tackle some of my renovation design in our home. Maybe it is just a “guy” thing, the “let’s just keep things the way they are” argument… However I was determined to change that attitude! First I had to convince him that more contemporary designs are pleasant to the eyes and could bring our home back to this current century. Some pieces of our furniture were very dated, specially that glass curio cabinet with all sorts of knickknacks… Ugh, I wanted to scream every time I looked at it! He is a very skilled man and we had done some major renovations throughout the years but yet nothing based on style only. Then I understood he had to be exposed to what I liked and get the feel of how much comfort can be added through design and style. And most important: that beauty is as essential as practicality!
Yes, there are things you can do!
1. Start inviting him/her to watch home renos & designs shows, or just leave the TV on for those channels, while you’re doing house stuff and eventually something will catch their attention. (That was a big one for me). My husband is very skilled with house renos and soon he was paying attention to how to hang a floating shelf or how to redo our staircase in hardwood. From that, we started to watch these shows together. Eventually he started to be excited about trying different things.
2. When you’re in a nice hotel, restaurant or store, point out how the environment makes people feel good and comfortable.
3. Leave some decor magazines in the bathroom or common areas, where they can be easily used.
4. Start explaining what it means to you to have an attractive place and how being current could add an amazing feeling of being more productive, more energetic and happier!
Beauty is as essential as practicality, this is what interior design is about.
5. Make some boards on Pinterest with your favourite things for your home. You will know when to show your ideas and explain what you think can be done. Pictures are a huge visual stimulation and it is easy to get excited about it.
6. Don’t be afraid to “sell your ideas”. It is not because we’re sharing our lives with someone, that this person has the same taste or, has moved towards the same idea of style and design. It is up to you, to find ways to sell your ideas to your partner that will make the change happen.
7. People can change the way they think about their homes. It might take some time but it happens. A good idea is to make a list of things that you both think can be improved and compare to see common points. From there, you might be able to create a time frame for every project. There are many diy projects that are super easy and inexpensive, like painting the walls in a different color, upgrading your baseboard, replacing door knobs! Simple things you could do yourself to get things started, that might wow your partner.
8. Show how much value can be added to a house through renovation and design. Look for articles on staging houses to sell, diy projects and show some numbers and real state articles about it. Our last home was sold in 4 days. At that point my husband was totally on board with what I thought would be big features to be improved. We both worked hard, we did around 12 diy projects, getting the house ready. Selling was a walk in the park! After all done, we both felt we didn’t want to sell the house any more but stay there and enjoy it. We both understood that we should have done all that reno right when we moved in. It took a full year of planning and executing but not only the sale was super fast, we got the price we wanted! After that success things were much easier. We moved to a house that has a very contemporary style, just like I wanted and he absolutely loves it. Now every time I have an idea he listens, we plan and execute. We have a long list of diy projects and has been nothing but fun!
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This is great, invest time in ‘selling’ the project or DIY and over time your partner will come around. I was a wee bit tired of hearing complaints about all the fall decor from my hubby. So a couple of weeks ago, I cleared out every single bit of decor from the main floor of our home, I packed up all the sweet white pumpkins, the beautiful fall flower arrangements, and basically everything and left empty shelves, and counters. It was left barren. My husband came home from work and he was a bit shocked at how it looked and felt in our home so empty. I kindly asked him if he preferred an empty shell of a house, or if he preferred a home that was decorated. He had to admit that it did not feel ‘homey’ with the personal decor and other items put away. Now when someone comments positively on the Christmas decor, he looks kind of proud and happy that friends enjoy coming to our home and appreciates the touches I put into making it feel like home!
That’s exactly it, Lisa! I would say that it takes a little bit of diplomacy and patiente, as with so many things in life, but it pays off! Nothing like having our design ideas truly shared with our partners!
Great post! I am super blessed my husband loves redecorating and sprucing us the house even more than I do! Completely agreeing on what to do can still be a little tricky, so I will have to put a few of your tips into practice! 😉 We are currently working on sprucing up our Kitchen! 🙂
Thanks Katie! And good luck with your kitchen reno! So exciting!
These are some really good, practical tips to slowly win your hubby over. I am very blessed with a hubby who loves helping me on my projects. But I am still going to work on some of these ideas. Thanks for sharing!
I love this post, I can not tell you how many time I here people comment on my DIY posts about how lucky I am to have an active spouse, or how they are unable to do DIY because their spouse won’t help out. I should really refer them all to your post.
Thanks! Yes, you’re blessed, having the support makes the whole difference. I do now, but it took me time and strategies lol!